It was a dark and stormy night. Thunder and lightning were crashing against the balcony on the 16th floor. I had to use the litter box.
Earlier in the evening while my humans were watching yet another episode of some pointless show, I had treated myself to some turkey mince and gravy. Oh my how delicious it was, so much gravy and little chunks of that turkey meat I like and the gravy, oh how good that gravy was... But I digress… The night was growing late. The humans have been sleeping for hours and as I sit on my scratch post looking out into the cold night air, I realise I must whether the storm and do my business. I stretch and reach my paws out to the tiles, they’re cold against my adorable jelly bean pads. Another crack of thunder, it makes me jump a little as it sounds like a mad dog barking at the door, the least favourite has often referred to me as a scaredy-cat and in this moment, she is only half right. As I reach the glass door to the balcony, I can hear the wind howling and the rain is pouring down now. I quickly check to see if my litter has been flooded by the storm, to my relief it has not. I walk through the door towards the litter box and it feels like little shards of glass are all over the ground. Then I realise, it’s my kitty litter.
I finally make it, I scratch around for a moment trying to find the perfect spot to leave this turkey and gravy demon rumbling in my fluffy white belly. Once I am satisfied I have found a good spot I turn, look out into the storm and with a roaring meow I release the beast.
Morning has broken and I wake up to see my good mate G-Raffe staring out towards the balcony and I think to myself, was that all a dream!? I quickly pounce out of bed and run over to the door. I can’t believe it. The human. He’s collecting it. All of it and putting it in a bag. He mumbles something to me like ‘Geez Louie what did you eat!’